My Johnny

Love:

Johnny (current beau) is amazing and he actually exceeds my expectations but some parts of me are afraid - afraid to believe it, afraid to accept that it's real and that this could be the end of the search for me completely. I think I'm so ready to be dissapointed that I set myself up for it, but can you blame me when that's all I've dealt with? but no you know what he's too amazing to be that stupid - as I was writing this he wrote me such a sweet text saying "goodmorning my beautiful love! I'm half awake and still thinking of you :) I love you baby" - what's to be scared of with someone that great right?

When I think about him or am near him though, all of that stuff dissapears and I don't worry or feel fear at all, I just feel happy and intensely cared for. It's all in the little things he does too like how he holds me close at every given chance, how we cover each other in kisses all the time, how he always makes sure I'm happy the way I do for him, how appreciative he is of all the things I do for him, and how he always seems to know just what to say to make me smile from the inside out. I haven't had too many good things happen to me in life without having to work extremely hard for them and he changed that. I feel whole and a happiness I can't even describe when he's around me. We can just lay together talking for a while and not get tired or bored and he's the person I go to first with good news or when I'm upset and need comfort. 

I love the way he talks to the TV when no one's around :p, the way he super enjoys food and talks like a food critic when he eats, love that he's not afraid to sing in front of me, love that he loves me so much he's really scared to lose me but not afraid to show it, love that he likes teaching me how to play xbox games even though I'm really not good at them at all :p, love that he likes to be with me and help me when I cook us dinner, love that seeing his smile warms my heart and lights up a room, love every curve of his face and tracing his dimples when he smiles, love that he'd rather lose sleep then not spend time with me, and most of all I love how willingly he's given his heart to me and I to him. he he :)